Northumbria Community

Roy’s father died in January.

• Chris, Roy’s brother, got married to his long term partner Gillian in October.
• A beautiful granddaughter is born in July.
• Shirley’s niece Laura was married in August to Dan Roberts.
• as were Andrew (Judith’s brother) and Sarah who married on Aidan’s Day.
• Nether Springs, the mother house of the Northumbria Community

leaves Hetton Hall and begins the relocation to Acton Home Farm.

• Crossing Places is launched in Glendale.
• Stoves bring warmth and comfort to home.
• Roy gets an Apple Mac and an Iphone.

The Highlights

• The arrival of Eden Grace, our first granddaughter.
• Joshua’s recovery and progress.

The Low Points

• The shock of Dad’s death.
• The tragedy of Jim’s dying.
• The General Election and its implications.
• Paying for an Apple Mac and Iphone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

With thankfulness to God for his grace and goodness and with appreciation for our family, friends and Community we raise a glass (from the Mosel!) to celebrate Christmas and wish you a very Happy Christmas and a New Year filled with hope, adventure and much encouragement.         Roy and Shirley

THE NEWS IN DETAIL

Births … We have a granddaughter! A beautiful baby girl, Eden, daughter to Ben and Judith, sister to Isaac and Patrick was born in July, waiting for us to arrive in time to see her within an hour of her birth, following in the family tradition of waiting for grandparents to arrive.

Deaths … The sudden, unexpected death of Alan, Roy’s father was a great shock at the outset of the year. He had enjoyed a lovely Christmas and New Year, spending time with all his children and grandchildren. The packed congregation at his wonderful funeral service, which Roy conducted, was tribute to this lovely, gentle and godly man who together with Edith, Roy’s mum, who died the year before, is greatly missed by his all the family, many friends and neighbours. The memories of a good man are a blessing indeed.

Another shock came in the middle of our annual holiday break in Norfolk when news reached us of the tragic death of Jim MacNaughton, a friend who went into the church ministry from our first church at Portrack. A fitness enthusiast, fell walker, Jim was a great pioneer minister, who had a real love for people, possessed a real passion to see folk come to faith. His sad and unexpected death leaves his wife, four children, two grandchildren and many friends bereft. The church was overflowing with people who attended his funeral thanksgiving service, at which Roy preached, many of whom owed their faith to Jim who had the courage and the compassion to share his love of God with others.

Marriages …

Something that was not entirely unexpected but nevertheless delightful was the wedding of my brother, Chris, to his long term partner Gillian.  Unlike Roy, Chris is a very cautionary character and likes, with Gillian, to give a lot of thought and attention to plans and preparations.  It’s taken them over 16 years to get to the wedding day(!) but there was much rejoicing among family and friends and I’d like to think in heaven as it would have gladdened the hearts of Mum and Dad.  A delightful wedding reception was held at Ripley Castle near Harrogate in October.

Andrew, our daughter-in-law Judith’s brother, was married to the delightful Sarah at one of the most beautiful and meaningful weddings that we have ever been to.  It reflected their creative, colourful personalities and deep faith.  A lovely celebration entered into by a huge number of family and friends.  The only element of sadness was the absence of Andrew’s father, Robert, who sadly died prematurely and missed out on both his children’s weddings.

Shirley’s sister, Wendy, excelled in the preparations that she and her daughter made for Laura and Dan’s wedding.  Her brilliant and renowned wedding cakes, added to her many creative skills, have seen her launch into a new career hosting tea parties.  Another delightful family occasion.  Given the sadness of Wendy and Peter’s messy divorce, together with Dan’s parents experiencing a similar breakup of their marriage, the potential for tension at the wedding was abated as people acted sensitively and contributed to a lovely occasion.

FAMILY NEWS

The memories of a good man are a blessing indeed … The address that Roy gave at his Dad’s funeral service are attached as an appendage to this newsletter for all those who wish to read about this lovely man who together with Edith made a huge contribution to the shaping of our lives.

Wake … One of the special memories on the evening of Dad’s funeral day was having all our family and some of our closest friends sitting informally around our meal table and spontaneously sharing memories of both Mum and Dad, Nanna and Granddad.  It was a fitting tribute to them who taught us about hospitality and who loved conversation around the meal table to have their family sharing so many happy memories of them.  Brilliant!

Gatherings ~ holidays … We don’t live in close proximity to our children or grandchildren but we nevertheless see a lot of them and every opportunity is taken in holidays, alongside work commitments to spend time together.  It’s lovely to see the family in its rich diversity getting on so well together and clearly enjoying one another’s company.

Ben and Judith, Isaac, Patrick and Eden

It’s been a big year for them: a new baby and moving into their new home which they bought last year and spent six months renovating and making into a delightful and more spacious family home with a garden.  Isaac 4, Patrick coming up 3 and Eden, 6 months are lovely children and it is credit to Ben and Judith that they have nurtured and encouraged their children in their relationship with us as grandparents.  They are a delight and but for the fact that they have yet to learn the art or is it discipline of a full night’s sleep, would be almost perfect.

Jessica, Nick and Gabriel

Equally delightful is Gabriel, Jessica and Nick’s little boy, whose dedication service was another highlight of the year.  It’s one of the perks of the job and a privilege that is never taken for granted that Roy was asked to officiate with their Vicar in Gabriel’s Dedication service at their parish church in Oxford.  The after dedication pub lunch was a lovely occasion where we mixed with a whole generation of younger people, many of whom are or will be movers and shakers in society working in education, the arts, law and commerce.  Nick changed jobs this year, going on to a new school just outside Oxford, to move up the career ladder. Jessica has gone back to work part time but with a new baby expected in June, she will need to work out her work life balance all over again soon.

Joshua

 This time last year we carried a great sadness and concern for Joshua following the breakdown of his marriage.  We are so thankful that this year has seen a closure and a moving on from that brief, albeit very sad chapter in his life and we are grateful for his recovery and the light and life that has returned to him.  Not only is he excelling in his academic achievements, he is enjoying a social life with many friends scattered throughout Europe.  Fluent now in German, he is learning Russian and has virtually completed his doctorate within two years at Trinity College Dublin.  He is continuing to research, has won a scholarship to study at the University of Utrecht in the New Year and has given and published papers in Germany, Ireland, Serbia and at the Charles University, Prague, and will be lecturing in Russia this summer.  He has just spent a term teaching at the IBTS (International Baptist Theological Seminary in Prague) where he completed his Masters in one year with distinction before going on to Trinity and where he continues to return to a seminary community which has become a very special place for him.

Francesca

Having completed her English Degree at Birmingham, Francie took a year out and worked for a local company here in North Northumberland before taking off to Guatemala to teach as a volunteer for a month prior to commencing her nursing degree at Northumbria University, Newcastle.  Very different from the degree at Birmingham, she is nevertheless settling well has done excellently in her first essay and has been recorded by her mentor on her first hospital placement as the best student nurse she has had.  Great.  Her relationship with George is back on after a period of cooling off in the summer and autumn.  She hopes once her placements have been sorted out to find accommodation in Newcastle where there are clearly more things to do than in the wilds of North Northumberland, particularly in the winter when you are snow bound and suffering from cabin fever.

FRIENDS

We have some great friends and they continue to enrich our lives.  Whilst for us this year has been one with sadness but not too much pressure, we have journeyed with some of our closest friends who have encountered some really tough times.  Illness, immobility, breakdown in relationships, redundancy, a return to their homeland, bereavement and considerable stress and pressure from workplace situations have characterised many of our friends lives.  There have also been joys and achievements to celebrate with them.

COMMUNITY

This has been a remarkably exciting and challenging year and for those who receive the Community’s Caim newsletter or follow its progress on the website, you will have read of all the many changes including the ending of our time at Hetton Hall where since 1992 Nether Springs, the Community’s Mother House, has been based.  The remarkable provision of Acton Home Farm, 22 miles further south, is a great gift and provided we can raise another £100,000 as a Community, we will be able to help realise the potential that we have to establish something significant not just for Companions and Friends but for many who will benefit from such a centre.

( See www.northumbriacommunity.org to read about the Community and if you’re interested you can follow Roy’s journeying and reflections on his Blog http://www.northumbriacommunity.org/blogs/roy-searle and listen to his Advent Reflections http://www.northumbriacommunity.org/audio-a-video/449-advent-reflections)

We continue to thank God for some remarkable people with whom we have the privilege to share and work with.  Deep friendships, common values, a real sense of journeying together.  Roy is greatly blessed in the relationships he enjoys with all those who he works with and has taken particular encouragement in seeing a new, younger generation begin to take on responsibilities which augers well for them leading the Community in the coming years.  It continues to be a great joy and source of much inspiration to share the oversight of the Community with Trevor who has battled with the blood disorder, rheumatoid arthritis and the onslaught of constant pain and immobility which has rendered him physically weak. He remains remarkably strong in spirit and still possesses a depths of wisdom that has been an immeasurable blessing to us and to many.  Roy is also encouraged by the ease with which Pete has come alongside them as an Overseer and managed the huge task of relocating Nether Springs. Roy is also very appreciative of his PA , Jean, whose work enables and facilitates him to do what he does on so many fronts.

  

This is a new season in the life of the Community and the relocating of the Mother House is just one of many changes and developments.  Others include the emergence of other Community Houses in Oxfordshire, Herefordshire and France; new initiatives in Holland, the USA, Ireland and Britain; the appointment of a wider leadership team; a reorganising of the Community’s trading company and a renaissance of creativity in many areas.

It’s been good to be reunited with some folks who left the Community as a consequence of our annus horribilis in 1998 and significant steps have been taken along the path of reconciliation with others.

Particular highlights this year have been:

Taking a team into a closed Claustral Week in a convent of the Order of the Holy Paraclete at Whitby leading up to Easter; two Leadership Schools held at Nether Springs; welcoming some of the students from IBTS in Prague; seeing some tangible growth of the Community in Ireland; being part of a lecture tour with Stuart Murray Williams of the Anabaptist Network around some of the colleges in Britain; mentoring younger leaders; taking part in the Radio 4 discussion on new monasticism, being filmed for the new Lyfe course with Renovare and Bible Society on spiritual formation, ( see: http://www.lyfe.org.uk/lyfe-sessions/real-lyfe-intro/) and writing and presenting a series of podcasts and radio talks for the Baptist Union …

Roy enjoys writing and hopes to develop over the coming years both in resourcing the Community but also to a wider audience.  He has also valued those opportunities to work with the Baobab Centre with close friend Gayle-Anne and also with the NHS in Scotland.  Like the German conference, Roy really enjoys translating the Community’s values and way for living into the different cultural, secular and work place contexts.

WORK/VOCATION

Roy continues to enjoy the challenges, responsibilities and privilege of being one of the leaders of the Northumbria Community which provides him with great opportunities to influence, inform, encourage and share with many individuals, churches, colleges and secular organisations.

Shirley continues her work which she thoroughly enjoys, running Wooler library but is mindful of the prospect of major changes in the service and a government reorganisation which could signal a change in her working patterns.

We continue to run a very busy home and have welcomed a couple of hundred people through our doors here on the High Street, many of whom have stayed.  Old friendships deepened and new friends made. We have an impressive, interesting and quirky house, (well it’s more like two small houses and an adjoining barn and according to the Local Authority and service providers, liable for two council taxes, two electricity charges, television licences, gas and water bills!).  It is, however, a lovely house/s and Shirley particularly has worked really hard to create it as a family home and together with Roy is reshaping some of its features in the house and gardens to make for a simpler and more comfortable place to live and express our commitment to hospitality.  The place comes into its own particularly when the house is full of people.  We have only four bedrooms but can accommodate in our reception rooms 40 people comfortably.

LOCAL NEWS

The vision that began in a coffee shop across the road from us in the High Street here in Wooler led to an initiative, Crossing Places, that has been formed to explore what faith means in a changing rural culture.  It’s a creative, innovative, missional venture that seeks to serve the area of Glendale, share in a positive and fresh way what belonging to Christ and his community means.  Its ethos is relational, non sectarian and seeks to relate the good news of the faith to people beyond the walls of the church.  It has been good, with the backing of the Baptist Union, supporters and a dedicated core group to invite Bill and Eeva-Liisa Eugster to come and work full-time with this pioneering endeavour.

TRAVEL

No change on the travel front, Roy continues to travel fairly extensively throughout Britain and Europe in relation to his role with the Northumbria Community.  The car now has 168,000 miles on the clock. He aims to travel less next year in order to give some specific time set aside to write.

Among the highlights of this year’s travels was the annual lecture week in Prague.  The partnership with the International Baptist Theological Seminary there is a mutually beneficial sharing of community experiences with the staff and students who are drawn from Eastern and Western European countries.  A genuine friendship has been forged between our two communities and the opportunity to serve and play some small part in the training of young, predominantly Eastern European leaders is a great privilege and joy. Shirley visited the seminary in November with her mum and enjoyed a lovely time with the students and saw Joshua in action, teaching, for this he has been gifted.

We’ve come to know and love the Netherlands over recent years not least because of the growth of the Northumbria Community there and the good friendships that have been established with Companions and Friends.  Roy shared in the leadership of a very exciting Community Weekend in Amsterdam and looks forward to further visits there next year.

A particular highlight this year was a trip to Germany which Roy and Shirley were able to do together, accompanied by Joshua who travelled over from Prague to be with them at a Conference where Roy was the principle speaker.  It was organised by Friends of the Community, Rainer and Ilona Walde who had the previous year made an excellent film for German television on Journeying with the Celtic Saints which featured the Community.  Rainer and Ilona run a training institute based in Limburg and it was in the town’s civic centre that Roy addressed a gathering of people from the world of business, finance, education, welfare and health on the relevance of Celtic spirituality for a changing European culture.  It was a remarkably stimulating conference and either side of it we valued the opportunity to get to know Rainer and Ilona better.  We also thoroughly enjoyed travelling through the Belgium Ardennes and visiting the Mosel Valley in Germany which is renowned for its famous vineyards.  It was particularly interesting for Shirley who was visiting Germany for the first time and retracing places that she knew when she worked in Cologne back in the 1970s.  We also had a very pleasant 24 hours stop-over in Bruges on the way home.

Ireland continues to be part of our lives and we are thankful for the many good friends we’ve made over there.  A really significant and special time was experienced in November when Roy spent a week over in the North leading a retreat, speaking twice at Saul and taking part in a really good Community Weekend at An Cuan, the newly opened YWAM Centre at Rostrevor.  After years of praying, visiting and serving it seems as though some real and tangible work is bearing fruit in the lives of a largely younger generation of people connecting with the Community over there.  We are back over to Belfast to celebrate Christmas with all the family with the exception of Jessica, Nick and Gabriel who we will see in Wooler over the New Year.

HOLIDAYS

Norfolk … We returned again as we do each year to Norfolk in the early part of the summer for a week that signals a change of pace for the summer season.  We love the time and opportunity that we have to spend with Roy’s cousin Evelyn and her husband Clive who have become good friends in recent years.  Together with good friends Rob and Sue who join us, we spend the week all six of us chilling out, pottering around the lanes, waterways and coast of this beautiful county.

Cranfield … Courtesy of another of our good and close friends, Stephen, we had a lovely family holiday with Jessica, Nick and Gabriel at Fathom Cottage, Stephen’s home on the most southerly tip of Northern Ireland.  The weather was great and provided us with some quality leisurely time as well as visits to Belfast to see our newborn granddaughter.  We also marked a milestone in the lives of grandsons, Isaac and Patrick, who spent a couple of days with us at Cranfield away from their Mummy and Daddy and new born baby sister.

Bruges … On the way back from Germany, Shirley and I enjoyed a lovely 24-hour break in the beautiful Belgian city of Bruges.  The warm weather in October enabled us to have a boat trip around the canals and we enjoyed a lovely meal out and proved again how good a value hotel you can get on lastminute.com

SPORT

I can’t believe that I would have ever said this but I have grown to be quite disillusioned with the modern game and the way in which football has become either big business or a religion.  Overpaid and overrated players, their agents and dodgy club owners are ruining the game and they manifest the same greed that was exhibited in the financial money markets which brought ruin to many.   I couldn’t even be bothered with watching much of the World Cup and Match of the Day is certainly not a priority any longer.  Having played to a fairly high standard of amateur football and it being a favoured sport, it is now an interest but not a consuming one.  I do still support Middlesbrough and have stuck with them through thick and thin and a horrific period under the tenure of Gordon Strachan.  I am heartened by the appointment of one of Boro’s legends as the new manager who will need a great deal of time to restore the club and repair the dismantling of the Youth Academy players who have been the backbone of this down to earth football club for the past 20 years.  Alex, who is my nieces Alison’s eldest son, has signed for Newcastle and is regularly playing for the reserves. A really nice lad and obviously very talented.

I love playing tennis.  It keeps me fit and I’ve enjoyed the company of friends on and off the court.  We play throughout the year so the unprecedented winter weather has dealt a severe blow to our games.  Back in those long, warm summer days we even had an evening friendly challenge match with one of the Scottish Borders top teams, set against the beautiful backdrop of the Eildon hills, and won!  I did manage to come joint runner up in the Men’s Singles tournament which was no mean feat given the fact that I am virtually twice the age of the others who were at the top of the leader board.

COMMENT

It’s official ~ I’m in my 50’s and I’ve become a grumpy old man!  Proof ~ I had to spend a day in Newcastle earlier this week, whiling away the time whilst my car was serviced and the data from my old laptop was transferred onto my new Apple Mac.  I was in Eldon Square, Newcastle, and thousands of people all around me were Christmas shopping.  We don’t do presents in a big way in our family and I’m quite proud to say that we instigated a “Secret Santa” some years ago where we are allocated one person in our large family to buy a modest present for, (we’ve upped the guide price this year to £20) and it helps to keep a bit of perspective on what Christmas is supposed to be about and stems the influence of consumerism’s power.  I know that there are some lovely things about in the shops but the vast majority is either unnecessary, unappreciated and a lot of it is rubbish.  I’ve never quite been the same since my involvement with the Make Poverty History campaign.  I realised then how generosity and giving can make a real difference to the lives of people and situations.  The present economic climate requires more than a slight adjustment of our finances and cause for a more radical questioning of how we live.  The old adage to live more simply, that others may simply live, wouldn’t do us any harm.  If we cut down on the accumulation of unnecessary things and gave to others. Instead of accumulation we would be agents of transformation.  Jesus said that we would be more blessed in giving than receiving and it’s true.   For those who watched Channel 4’s The Secret Millionaire, it is always the case that those who give are blessed and those who receive are able to see change and transformation for good.

If you don’t agree just write me off as a grumpy old man!

In terms of the liturgical calendar, Advent is probably my favourite season.  There is something about dark, winter days that help to reflect on the waiting period prior to the celebration of Christmas.  I love to journey with the Christmas story and I’ve been struck this year particularly by the notion of God coming to dwell among us.  Jesus enters our humanity and helps us to see what a truly human life can be.  It was Irenaus who said that the glory of God is seen in a human life fully lived. Christ’s coming and his redeeming of our lives makes it possible to live life to the full.  The fruit of seeking God and following Christ has to be about realising a greater measure of our humanity, to be fully human the hallmarks of any genuine work of God’s spirit will always result in a greater realisation of human life, life to the full as God intends. A good deal of my work this year has been with leaders, some churches, communities and a few business institutions.  A common theme that has emerged has been that of trying to help people to be more human.  I had a delightful experience in the autumn with a church that had a pretty chequered history.  Splits, fallouts, tense relationships, made for an uneasy, albeit respectful, sense of fellowship.  I was taking a weekend away and observed how their Saturday evening Variety programme enabled some of them to let their hair down, sing and dance and tell their stories.  My task with two other Companions that night was to close the day down with Compline but seizing the opportunity of the moment we decided to move seamlessly from party to Compline and then into dancing.  Dismantling the sacred secular divide we moved from the Patrick late night prayer into a jig and reel and in the next 20 minutes saw a work of God in the laughter, movement and warmth that healed the tense relationships of the previous years.  I would describe some of my own and the Community’s work as trying to help people to become more fully human.

Faith is about every aspect of life, not just the religious, extraordinary and spectacular, but the ordinary and everyday.  Reading about the Shepherds, ordinary working class folk to whom God chose to send his messengers to announce the good news.  They experienced that first Christmas but returned i.e. back to ordinary life but their hearts had been transformed by their encounter with the Christ child. We live in a celebrity culture where success is measured in terms of getting a song into the charts or getting time and some fame on the television or reputation in the tabloids or popular high street magazines.  It is challenging and encouraging to know in contrast that God is interested in ordinary folk, whose lives would never be discounted by “you are the weakest link, goodbye” or “you’re fired” and who would never have to compete in order to gain relationship.

CULTURE

Our cultural escapades included a variety of different aspects of the Arts.  Among the highlights was a brilliant Mark Knopfler concert in Newcastle.  Eight rows from the front in direct eyeline of the maestro himself ~ just brilliant.

We enjoyed The History Boys at the theatre in Norwich; great story, great play, great film.

Shirley and I had our usual trip up to Edinburgh during the festival enjoying the atmosphere, concert, exhibition, meal and a pretty rude but very funny Brief History of Scotland. Enjoying a weekend with good friends and my cousin, we went to a brass band concert.  We’d never been to one before but one of our favourite films is Brassed Off and the concert that was given by the Brighouse and Rastrick Brass Band was excellent. Listening more to the radio we have also enjoyed The Apprentice, Strictly Come Dancing, (Shirley and Francesca) and Channel 4’s excellent dramatisation, Every Human Heart.

With Tennis Club friends Roy took part in the local pantomime;writing, directing and performing their take on Little Red Riding Hood which was a great success and the less said about Roy the Woodcutter and his big chopper, the better!

 BOOKS

Shirley, like Joshua, is a prolific reader and spends a fair amount of time ensconced in a good book.  As the town’s librarian, she has easy access to a whole series of writers, her favourite authors this year being, Kate Atkinson, Marina Lewycka, Margaret Atwood and Kate Mosse and Paul Torday.

Roy has never been into novels but prefers non-fiction and the occasional Saturday morning pouring over the Guardian.  He recommends the following:

Spirit Level, Richard Wilkinson and Kate Pickett; Them and Us, Will Hutton; A Journey, Tony Blair; Virtue Reborn, Tom Wright; Longing for God, Richard Foster and Gayle Beebe; Totally Devoted, Simon Cross; The monk who sold his Ferrari, Simon Sharma.

POLITICS AND SOCIETY

Well, it wasn’t the best year for members of the Labour Party.  In truth the government had run out of steam and with it the associated accoutrements of power allied to the world recession, the crash of the financial money markets and the media’s decision to remove Gordon Brown from power led to a defeat in May’s General Election.  I don’t think Gordon was the best party leader but I do think that history will be kinder to him and recognise some of his values in time.  It’s interesting to speak and read about other nations perspectives on Brown’s ability during the financial crisis which is in stark contrast to the slating that he got in our country.

Anyway, it was bound to come and from a Labour perspective it could have been a lot worse.  We have elected a new leader (not sure if we got the right one but I am still hoping) and the party is certainly attracting more grass roots support and the involvement of a younger generation and its perhaps becoming more representative of the general public.

Shirley and I enjoyed a very interesting evening as part of the Radio 4 Any Questions audience from Alnwick with lively debate during which Chris Mullin the former MP for Sunderland South, an astute politician, described George Osborne, the present Chancellor as “dangerous”.  I have seen nothing in the early days of the Lib Con coalition government to allay my fears for the social consequences of the policies that are being proposed and implemented.  As the unfortunate indiscretion of Vince Cable’s conversation with two undercover Telegraph reporters revealed a Maoist approach to health care together with education and welfare reforms, I fear that it does not bode well for human life and society.

I couldn’t believe why the Lib Dem’s went into a coalition with the Conservative Party.  Sad to say for me it speaks more of opportunism than serving the national interest and reveals a party and its leader as lacking integrity.  Politics is the art of compromise but to violate the so called values and principles reveals a party with little backbone or moral fibre.  Good old Charlie Kennedy, faults and all, how they could have done with him at the helm for such a time as this.

Nuns Having Fun

I have sometimes bought the amusing calendar Nuns having Fun. No need to this year as I now have a photo of my Spiritual Director, SR Janet Elizabeth celebrating her 74^th birthday by sledging in the snow at Whitby!

THOUGHTS for a NEW YEAR ~ which were written on my last visit to say farewell to Hetton Hall, in what was my favourite place at Nether Springs ~ the Little Chapel of the Incarnation…

Live simply, hospitably, (opening heart and home to others), generously, contentedly, authentically and with appreciation for who God is, who you and others are, what you have and the beauty that is all around.

Take care

as ever

Roy

 APPENDIX

Roy’s address at  his father’s Funeral Service, Saturday 23rd January 2010

We are here to honour and give thanks to God for Alan’s life.

We are here because in one way or another, his death, as his life, affects us all.

Over 50 years ago, the family gathered in this church for a service, a happy occasion that marked the gift of life ~ a Christening service.  I know because I was the baby!  Now, we gather here at St Mary’s, his church, where he was determined to be, despite the snow and icy conditions to celebrate Epiphany the day before he died, and we are here now on a sad occasion which marks the end of his life.

And, of course, it hurts.  And the grief and pain we feel is related to the loss of someone who is so special to us all.

Our grieving is however not without hope, and we gather together to celebrate the life of a truly good man.

The Bible tells us that the ‘memories of a good man are a blessing indeed’

and there are innumerable memories of this good man who has touched and influenced so many people for good throughout his life.

We draw comfort from the faith that Dad possessed; a simple yet deep and committed faith that informed the whole of his life, not only his beliefs but his behaviour, not just his involvement as a church member and earlier in his life, choir boy, server, Sunday School teacher and church warden but in the values that he lived out in everyday life and in all his dealings with other people.

He loved singing hymns and often he would go through Hymns Ancient and Modern singing the hymns that he loved and many a family party in years gone by featured him singing to Mum’s piano accompaniment.

In all the many cards and conversations that we’ve had since he died, there are some very common themes, as people have shared their memories of Dad: gentle, caring, kind, considerate ~ a lovely man.

He was a gentle man ~ courteous and considerate, who was the epitome of selflessness and generosity.

He was a remarkably contented man who made no demands of others.

He lived out what Jesus said about it being more blessed to give than receive.

And his generosity and concern extended beyond his family and friends to many.

His wide ranging financial support of many charities is testimony to his quiet, caring concern for the people, animals and the environment.

His altruism was expressed in the interest he took in caring for others, those he knew and those he didn’t know but whom he prayed for and supported.  So many people could testify to his countless acts of kindness.

His modesty and humility endeared him to many.  He was never boastful and being self-deprecating was very happy to occupy a quiet, supportive, backstage role rather than occupying the front stage.

Not that he was not talented: he could write and use language beautifully, he was a skilled woodworker, photographer and gardener and a very able Scrabble player beating Chris, Gillian and Adam days before he died.

He should have been a doctor; great listener, his attention to detail and lovely manner as well as his illegible handwriting would have served the medical profession so well.  Having said this he would never have met my Mum who kept every doctor as far away as possible!

He was a hard worker, conscientiously always doing his best.  Just as he took a great deal of pride in his appearance, so he worked hard wanting others to benefit from and share the rewards of his labours.  He worked hard all his life; in the home, for Shell-Mex and BP, in his garden and he and Mum worked so hard together in lovingly restoring the Mill House at Chatton ~ in their retirement!  His washing up of the dishes after Christmas dinner was legendary. Stacked, washed, rinsed, dried, polished, stacked, put away ~ he was back with us in time for New Year!

He and Mum worked hard not only for themselves but for others and together they knew that in being blessed they were to bless others.  So many people were blessed by their generosity and hospitality.

It’s not many parents, who during your adolescent years, you are comfortable with bringing your friends back home to but we were.

When I was about thirteen I remember scoring a hat trick in the final of a local football competition. The winners were presented with a fine trophy and individual medals. My Dad, pleased and proud of my own and the team’s success nevertheless noticed the look of disappointment on the losers faces who only received a handshake for their part in the final. Next year we went out in the semi-finals but I learnt that my Dad had made a lovely Wooden Shield and provided money for medals for the Runners Up in subsequent years.

They gave of themselves to others and the idea of sitting back and doing nothing in retirement was never in their thinking.  We’ve laughed when they used to take “old people” out for rides in the car in the countryside.  These “old people” being often 20 years younger than Mum and Dad!

Dad’s many years of involvement with the BP 44 Club, is just one example of how he spent his life blessing others.

As a father, he was loving and kind and he gave of himself to enable us to be given opportunities and experiences that would enrich our lives.  His greatest pleasure was to see us and others thrive.

He loved being with his family of all generations and whilst none of us expected his sudden death, it is with profound thankfulness that he was able to spend quality time with every one of his children, grandchildren and great grandchildren over the Christmas and New Year period.

Though he was of the old school he didn’t live in the past and kept up his interest in his large, extended family and other people and events to the very end.

Always there to care, provide, help, support, advise and encourage, we had great fun at home and on holidays as the thousands of photographs bear testimony to.

At a time when there are discussions about the importance of family life and the influence of parents, as a family we are indebted to both Dad and Mum who loved us and imparted to us life’s true and godly values.

In what some regard as the lottery of life, we certainly were prize winners when we were allocated our parents.

He loved the countryside, having been born in Norfolk and where he returned on many occasions to visit family and friends.  He loved the rural life, took an interest in farming, relished his time working for Shell with the agricultural community in the North of England, he enjoyed walking and was a wonderful wildlife photographer.

Nature had more patience than many of us who had to stand posing for minutes as Dad worked out the speed and aperture settings which followed the findings of his light meter.

His slide shows were legendary giving pleasure to many and the opportunity for Mum to nod off!

He was meticulous and, to be honest, slightly compulsive obsessive.

Whilst tidy and organised, [although Mum would regard his study as chaotic and messy!], he rarely threw things away.  As we begin the task of sorting through the house, we are aware of the junk, sorry detailed filed information! that he kept on so many things.

If anybody has need of some used carpet tacks that have been carefully kept in a catalogued series of old Gold Leaf tobacco tins they can negotiate with the Council Tip operators in a few weeks time.  Similarly if anybody would like the daily rainfall records from 1978 to 1990 at Chatton Mill or his appointment diaries from 1946 to the present day, then they can see my brother or sister afterwards!

His loyalty, faithfulness and kindness touched all our lives.

He loved people, was a very social person who loved the company of others and irrespective of background, temperament, rich or poor, young and old, he treated all with respect and courtesy.

He had that remarkable gift and grace of always seeing the best in people and irritatingly would always try to see things from the other person’s perspective, even when in your eyes they were clearly wrong!

He was devoted, faithful, affectionate and committed to his beloved wife, Edith, and cared for her, not least in what was a difficult last few years of her life.  When you are with someone for nearly 70 years, the loss is profound and Dad struggled, albeit looking after himself very well, without Mum, with whom he had shared his life.

An example of Dad’s compassion and commitment to people was seen in the promise that he gave to his in-laws concerning my Mum’s sister.  Ella was a very intelligent woman, an excellent piano teacher, who was physically handicapped.  Her fear and the concern of her parents and my Mum was that she would eventually have to be cared for in a residential home.  Alan, true to his character, allayed all their fears with a promise that she would never have to leave home and when Mum and Dad moved from Eastbourne Gardens to Queens Road, (which incidentally became later the curate’s house for St. Mary’s here) they had an extension built over the garage to accommodate Ella who lived all her days with us as a family.

Dad also loved animals, particularly dogs and enjoyed their company on many a country or coastal walk.  In his earlier days, he was a very keen cyclist and was known in one week’s holiday to cycle down to Norfolk or London and then onto the Isle of Wight before returning home.

He was very fit and a mean table tennis and badminton player and was quite accomplished, as the medals show, on the dance floor including the Emperor’s Ballroom here in Whitley Bay.

We were shocked at his sudden death because, apart from the aches and pains that come with age and the tinnitus that he has suffered as a consequence of serving as an Engineer in the RAF during the war, (which you never heard him complain about despite its debilitating noise in his ear throughout his life since) he enjoyed good health and was well in body, mind and spirit, right up until the moment he died.  As Judy has said, “Dad lived his life to the full until the day he died”.

He was ready to die.  There was no unfinished business.  He died believing in his eternal destiny and had that quiet confidence borne of faith in God that enabled him not only to face death but to live well in life.  He wore the cross on his lapel as a symbol of his love for God and a testimony to God’s faithfulness and by his bedside his Northumbrian Office and prayer guide which he will have read on the night before he died these words from the Evening Office;

I believe I shall see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living… and in the shadow of your wings, I will sing your praises O’ Lord.

At the end of that Office is the blessing of Columba of Iona.  The Hebrides were among Dad’s favourite places and Columba’s words in the blessing are a comfort to us as we imagine Dad praying them:

See that you be at peace among yourselves my children

And love one another.  Follow the example of good men of old

And God will comfort you and help you both in this world

And the world which is to come.

There were things that Dad loved ~ family, friends, people generally.  Driving…. He holds the dubious family record for the shortest time it took to drive from Wooler to Whitley Bay!

He loved going out for meals.  He derived so much pleasure from taking people out for a meal.  From Crieff Hydro Hotel, the Grand Hotel at Tynemouth to his much loved café, Castaways, there was nothing he enjoyed more than sitting around the meal table with family and friends and with those who were strangers but who became friends through Dad’s conversation and care.

It’s great to be reminded that in heaven there are lots of meals, family gatherings, singing and dancing and the wellbeing and blessing that Dad prayed for, lived for in this life will be realised fully.

There were also things that Dad hated ~ not least saying goodbye.  He was absolutely hopeless at it!  He overstayed his welcome many a time and contributed to you being late after being with them because he just loved being with you and others.

One of our abiding memories of him is whenever you left their house.  He’d stand at the front door and wave and then he’d walk to the end of the front porch, look out of the side window and wave again as you reached the junction.

When he was 80 he was bought a balloon ride, something he didn’t do for several years because of his caring for Mum.  However, the day came when we journeyed to Rothbury, put him in the basket, camera in hand, we waved and watched him ascend high into the air, beyond our sights.  He had disappeared and was now flying over his beloved Northumberland countryside.

His dying feels a little like that experience.  He has gone from us and he won’t be returning.  He’s gone to that far country, heaven, his eternal home which will be as beautiful if not more so than Northumbria and he is held by something far more secure than the basket of a hot air balloon.  He is held in the embrace of God from whom nothing, not even death can separate him.

As Isaac, one of his great grandsons declared he’s gone to heaven with his prickly moustache!

His loss is great as his life was great.  A truly good man whose life has enriched ours.

A good life, mirroring kindness and generosity

He was, beautiful of spirit, is sorely missed but lovingly remembered.

We remember and give thanks to God for his life. Amen.

 

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