It was really good to have over a month when I was not required to pack my overnight cases and it was delightful that my first journey back on the road saw Shirley accompany me. We had been invited to a wedding in Chipping Sodbury where I was asked to give the address. To be honest, I wondered why I’d been asked because we don’t know the couple very well at all. Martin, the groom, I’ve only seen on about half a dozen occasions and Steph, just once. It wasn’t until we heard their story at the reception that we realised how significant their weekend at Nether Springs was in determining their commitment to marriage. It was a lovely day and they are a great couple and it was lovely to see how God has provided a new chapter for their lives and created something beautiful out of the pain and sadness following the breakdown of Martin’s first marriage several years ago. As you’d expect of both them, the day was perfect in every detail, beautifully choreographed and delightful. I do confess, however, as an introvert and a grumpy old man, that weddings are too long for me. Back in the days when the service and the reception together lasted barely four hours, it suited me just grand. I can do short and middle distance weddings but marathon ocassions, however good they are, for an introvert like me, (who can nevertheless be incredibly sociable) give me overload with too much people for too long. It didn’t, however, detract from the joy of the day. The only sadness was the absence of Martin’s father, Bernard, who I do know; a fine man and a lovely father but who through ill health was unable to attend but who nevertheless had bestowed his blessing upon the relationship prior to his deteriorating mental health which now requires residential care and supervision.
Similarly, an equally happy occasion was marked this last weekend at our very good friend’s Jeff and Jill’s as they celebrated their Silver Wedding Anniversary. A lovely gathering of family and friends, from school days up to present days, celebrated at St. Cuthbert’s House, their award winning B&B, (they have just won the Silver Award in the B&B/Guest Accommodation of the Year 2011 category of the National EnjoyEngland Tourism Awards for Excellence 2011. http://www.stcuthbertshouse.com).
I had the privilege 25 years ago to marry them at Portrack and have witnessed and journeyed with them through the years. They have become great friends, trusted Companions and invaluable colleagues. The only tangible sadness on the occasion was the absence of Jill’s father who died several years ago prematurely with cancer, her brother Andrew, who died tragically in his early 50’s last year, and the absence of Jeff’s father, who’s dementia ruled out any prospect of him being there to celebrate the occasion.
Old age can be very cruel. I witnessed and shared in the suffering of my own mother, the latter years of her life and the consequences and caring of my father for his beloved. It’s what the wedding vows remind you of, in sickness and in health, for better, for worse but it’s hard to bear and to watch.
On Sunday morning when preaching at the end of Westgate Road Baptist Church’s Week of Prayer I met a delightful friend from my earlier days working on the local Northern Baptist Association Core Group back in the 1980’s. I hadn’t seen him for some time, he is now in his late 70’s but the pain in his heart and the sadness on his face was very evident as he spoke about his dear wife having spent years in residential care separated from her husband, blighted by severe dementia. All very sad.
But on a more hopeful note, knowing hardly anybody at the wedding the week before, Shirley and I were delighted to see a couple who I first met when they joined us for a sailing adventure in the Hebrides. They have been married for several years and in the autumn of last year, having gone through all the preparations and interrogations, they became the parents of two adoptive children, two young brothers. They live now in a considerably different culture context than they are used to. We learned something of these boys troubled past and the inevitable psychological scars that they do and will carry but three images spoke volumes to me: firstly seeing them sit as a family on the row in front of us and watching the body language throughout the service and the interaction between them was delightful. There was clearly a bond between these two boys and their new mum and dad. The next image was caught on camera when, with a child each in their arms they went and peeked into the classic old wedding car. The expressions on the little boys faces as they turned from peeping into the car and turning back to their parents was fabulous. The abiding memory was as I was leaving, (yes I confess to leaving before the cake was distributed and the evening party began, as Shirley and I had a journey to Oxford ahead of us). As I went to collect our car, I saw out of the corner of my eye, our friend walking with his son across a rain swept courtyard, umbrella sheltering the young boy and holding his hand firmly. It was an image of protection, love, a bond between father and son and one of abiding hope. No-one who knows anything about adopting will be fooled to think that there aren’t many challenges both now and in the future for this little family but with our friends, these boys have been rescued and given the opportunity of a new life and for that I thank God and pray for his blessing, protection, wisdom and joy upon this newly formed family.
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