Men with Soul
James Hawes is a Companion in Community who has a real passion for helping men to understand the things which shape their emotional and spiritual life. He's sent these words by way of introduction to his work and his passion, and I've sinmply copied them in below!

James Hawes – Profile

Job: I work for the Behaviour Support Team in the Children’s services in Nottingham
Personal: Married to Sally – we have two boys Cadan and Afton
Interests: Spirituality, Playing Sport, DIY, Gardening, reading, Counselling and Psychotherapy, modern liturgy, working with men and Play.
Background: Worked in Youth work for many years, trained Counsellor and Psychotherapist and reestablished private practice in Nottingham
Present training: Diploma in therapeutic Drumming ; Diploma in Applied Men’s studies.
Links to NC: Lived and was part of the Hetton Hall Monastery team from 1997 – 2000

While I was Living at the Northumbria community I began leading people on Private retreats and providing spiritual direction. It was this experience that led me to train as a counsellor and psychotherapist. While going through this training which I found extremely challenging my interest in spirituality and the emotional world was deepened. As a man I became deeply interested in my formation as a man and connected this to my Church upbringing within my training I realised that I was emotional illiterate and also that the church provided little in terms of ‘rites of passage’ that could help me explore my spirituality as a man.

Out of this thinking and learning I became convinced and passionate about seeking to work with men in the emotional world and in spirituality.

My first step was to establish a therapeutic service with a specific aim of working with Male clients. Please see my website at synergycounselling.com for further info about my practice.

Working with Men

‘The male has paid a heavy price for his masculine ‘privilege’ and power. He is out of touch with his emotions and his body. Only a new way of perceiving himself can unlock him from old, destructive patterns and enrich his life’
Herb Goldberg – “The Hazards of being male”

Men@work

Men@work provides a specialist support service for men. We seek to understand and explore the difficulties that men face in the present society and to provide a variety of initiatives that give men the possibility of engaging with these challenges. Men@work seek to create a network of men who share a common interest in exploring beyond the stereotypical image of the male in order to search for a new way of being.
Men@work aims include:
• To provide safe and relevant programmes to help men develop a mature manhood
• To increase the emotional health and awareness of men
• To support men in taking responsibility for their emotions, language and behaviour
• To help men become better fathers, better lovers, better role models and better citizens
• To help men revel in their true masculinity ( to be who they are) and to freely embrace play, courage, weakness, strength, initiative , love, tears, passion and other authentic qualities.

Men@work provides the following:

• Circle of men – a group for men to help men explore and express their emotions in a safe environment
• Shout! A programme for men struggling with shouting, verbal abuse, anger and aggressive behaviour
• Counselling service for men
• Male Therapy Group
• Father Factory – Skills workshops for dads
• Workshops – We run a range of workshops on the following issues….What is man? , Exploring masculinities, anger and violence, The ‘Father Wound’ , Body awareness and MOT ( men only talks)

Men with Soul

“The boy has to die before the man can be born” – Richard Rohr

My interest in masculine spirituality began when I started to consider what a mature masculinity looked like and if the church helped initiate or create a transformational environment to move boys to manhood. My reflection led me to reflect on some ancient rites of passage and on my own journey and confusion in this area and realise that there is a need to help men and boys explore this area.

I am convinced that many men are struggling with who they are men which has been the result of lack of appropriate fathering, fragmented family systems and lack of input from the church in this area. The many men I have seen as a therapist often struggle with the wound of the father. This wound could be because their father was absent physically, emotionally and spiritually. Their fathers may have been bullies, perfectionists, silent, passive, unloving or just express a lack of interest.

I seek to help men explore their masculinity and how this reflects their spirituality by
providing retreats, one day and weekend workshops and talks.

Some of the themes include the following

On being a man
The father wound
Body awareness
Rites of passage
Jesus the man
Communication
Anger and violence
The body of Christ
Incarnational spirituality

If you are interested in knowing more about this work then please email me